I am a war criminal. I asked them why, you know, the people who convicted me. They told me I committed a murder. They are right. I killed many men in the war I signed up for and they sent me to. But then again you see a lot of my friends killed to, why not them, I asked. You should have seen their eyes. All their blood rushed to it. I thought it would burst, I really did! Then I realised, I ought not to be asking such questions and decided to shut up. But one day, I heard the jail guards talking about me and one of them said, ” That sad idiot killed a guy in blue, how dumb can he get huh?” Then I realised I killed a guy I ought not to kill. You see, I forgot. It was my mistake, I should have known who I was fighting for and I should have known why I was fighting and I didn’t. So I decided to kill myself. I decided to wear my best and then blow my head off. But my best was my coat of blue. I couldn’t possibly commit the same crime again now can I? So I live on. No one will dare kill me because if they do, they will become me.
You might wonder as to what happened to me after I did not kill myself. I decided to wait till my best was not a coat of blue but I did not have enough money you see. So I decided to take some from a man who had too much. If I have too much, i would give it to a guy who needs it more than me also. So one night i knock at this man’s door. The door was engraved strongly declaring to the visitor “District Attorney”. I think it was at 12 in the night when I knocked. It was this late because I knew that this rich man had a lot on his shoulders already. So that’s why it was 12. He opened the door in his night gown and when he saw me, his faced was mingled with fear and anguish. Then I remembered his face. He was the one who condemned me to prison. But I don’t care and you know that as well as me. But this man lifted up his hands and told me to take anything that I wanted but not to hurt him. I found that very stupid. His night gown was of blue. Why would I kill him? Does he of all people not know the law that condemned me? Anyway, I asked him for all the money he would not need and he gave me more than I needed. But this time it was 4 in the morning. I carried the sack loaded with money and went to the alleys overflowing with the poor and sickly and I stuffed their sacks with the money! Just as I was about to finish, they arrested me again! Can you believe that? So,to the prison and went. They kept asking me for the money but when I told them that the DA told me to take the money, they just wouldn’t believe me.
Who am I you may wonder. The only identity I gave myself was that of a war criminal. What if I said I was a father or a brother or a son and told you events in my life? Am I the same war criminal or will I be a ghost? Will I haunt your conscience that people say, ‘pricks’ all humans. What if I don’t have a conscience? Am I human? How can a war criminal be so profound and stupid at the same time, you may wonder. I frankly don’t know. Yet dear reader, do not get muddled up in this so called “stupidity” of mine. What if I tell you i’m not stupid? Would you still laugh at the above mentioned events? Or will you fear me. I recommend both.
Vanya is a 2nd Year MA student with a penchant for Russian Literature and philosophy in general. She loves passionate discussions on Dostovesky and religion. She blogs at: http://vanyarachel.wordpress.com/